I am fully aware that it is not blog takeover day until the morrow but if I don't take my chance while she's distracted I may never have the opportunity to comment, and share her secrets with you all again!
God, she's hard work. There I've said it. I've waited six months to get that off my chest and it feels great! She's a complete and utter nightmare to work with - full of self doubt and frustration - you should hear the language when she's had a rejection or six, Phooey! She's disorganised and messy. I've been shoved in her drawers for all that time. It's been ever so drafty and dark in there, I can tell you. Every now and then dhe has a rummage around and I think 'YES! It's my turn!' But, alas, she pulls out a paper clip and slams her drawers shut again.
But the other day, at last, my time had come. I was taken out from her drawers and placed majestically on her desk. But I saw a terrible sight on the way up there - it made my spine go cold. I'm sure she's told you about her piles before now,but this is something much worse. I saw, there, lying at the back of her cupboard, rows and rows of used notebooks. 'Oh my!' I gasped. She told me I was the only one - that she'd never done it before - I was her first! How could she? I felt a fool - I believed her and she took advantage of me - I will never trust a writer again. They are a scurvy lot of odd looking unscrupulous, good for nothing, low lifes anyway! ;0
The notebooks sleep on the back shelves, shoved out of the way in the darkness, unloved and ignored since she'd scribbled in them. All those pages full of ideas - oh the ecstasy they must have felt as she ran her pen across their pages! But to what end? It's criminal.
The worst of it it that she has three shiny new pens she won for letters of the week in the local newspaper and these pens have never been used - they are still in their boxes. I've heard them whimpering, begging to be set free. I would so like to offer them my pages so they can run free across my chest in gay, wanton, abandon! But they remain penned in, dependent on her will, paying penance for a crime they haven't committed. She has a penchant for stashing things away and despite her assurances to you that her piles are under control, I beg to differ! She shows no remorse, no penitence. She'll be drawing her pension before she gets those poor pens out.
Still. If you are reading this will you tell her to get her posh pens out and use them - it's what they are for - writing. She's cruel to her pens - they need to run free, not be kept penned up and forgotten.
Oh and don't tell her I told you but she likes nothing more than to dance around the living room to Lady GaGa's CDs when she thinks no one is watching! If I can get a video of her doing it on here I will. I promise - oh I so do!
She told me that I'm going to be her new Wrekin Writer notebook for 2010! Ooh I'm looking forward to going to their meetings - you think they go there to talk about writing - pah! I'll tell you the truth of the matter, don't you worry!
Happy New Year!
Julie's new moleskine notebook (free at last! Oh she is so going to regret setting me free! I'll get my own back on her and I intend to free those who have gone before me) And also signed on behalf of Julie's posh pens xxxx